When it comes to this piece, I decided on the title penis envy because that is the easiest way to describe how I feel about my gender. I do not want a penis, but rather the power and privilege that is afforded to people that possess a penis in our current society. I want the freedom to not be defined first by the sex and how I physically present that sex and that is often the only freedom given to penis-havers. I will always be seen first as a black woman and then as a person; I will never be just a person and will usually only be perceived as a black woman. No matter how many haircuts I get, how many socks I stuff in my pant’s crotch, or how many times I tell people my proper pronouns, I will be first a black woman and often nothing else. That is why still, on some level, I do identify as a black woman even when I don’t identify with womanhood itself.
